WTF! Rabbit ‘Tentacle’ Virus, Elon Musk Suing Apple & Ronaldo Finally Did It!!

TODAY ON NEWSSDDDADDYYY!!

**ELON MUSK VS APPLE: APP STORE “MANIPULATION” LAWSUIT?**

Elon says Apple is rigging **App Store rankings** to favor rival **AI apps** (👀 OpenAI), and claims **xAI** will sue for **antitrust**. He got fact-checked (DeepSeek & Perplexity have hit #1), Sam Altman chimed in, and now it’s billionaire beef o’clock. Is Elon onto something… or just stirring the pot?

**RABBITS WITH “TENTACLES”? WHAT’S ACTUALLY HAPPENING**

Those viral pics of rabbits with horn/tentacle-like growths are **real** but not sci-fi. It’s **Shope papilloma virus**—recorded since the 1930s—creating keratin growths. It’s **not transmissible to humans**, but wildlife officials say don’t approach or stress the animals. Disturbing? Yes. The Last of Us? Not quite.

**UK “FREE SPEECH”… BY MEME VAN**

After **JD Vance** warned the UK is losing free speech, activists rolled a giant **bald Vance meme van** through his holiday town with “How’s that for free speech, JD?” A+ pettiness. This comes as reports flag **UK free-expression concerns**—so is the meme tour proof speech is fine, or does a tougher test await?

**5 DAYS, 5 NIGHTS: MAN SLEEPS WHILE SWIMMING**

Swiss endurance swimmer **Noam Yaron** is attempting the **longest continuous swim**—**Corsica to Monaco (112 miles)**—claiming he can “sleep” mid-stroke by shutting off half his brain **like a dolphin** (with hypnosis). Night guidance line, eyes closed, pure grind—all to spotlight the **Pelagos Sanctuary** and ocean protection.

**NORTH KOREAN FORCED LABOR IN RUSSIA?**

A BBC investigation alleges **thousands of North Korean workers** are in Russia under **slave-like conditions** (18-hour days, beatings, 2 days off a year). NK labor exports are **UN-sanctioned** since 2019, but sources say up to **50,000** workers could be sent. Propaganda spin in the comments or a hard, sourced reality?

**WORLD’S WORST ASSASSIN?**

Meet **Aimee Betro**: flew from Wisconsin to the UK for a hit… wore a bad disguise, left a **cell-phone trail**, took a **taxi** to the scene, aimed in front of **CCTV**—and the **gun jammed**. Victim survived, she’s convicted, and her defense? “Another American woman” who looks/sounds/acts exactly like her. Netflix, call your lawyers.

**CRISTIANO RONALDO IS ENGAGED — THAT RING 😳**

After nearly a decade together, **CR7** proposed to **Georgina Rodríguez**. The rock? Estimated **~30–40 carats** and possibly **$3–$15M**—one of the priciest celebrity engagement rings ever. Flex level: “top Jeff Bezos’ ring.” Cringe or king behavior?

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If you’re still traumatized by last video’s outfit, hit **Subscribe**, smash **Like**, and drop takes: **Is Apple gaming the App Store? Should the UK meme harder? Can you dolphin-sleep IRL?**

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00:00 – introducing
00:54 – ELON VS APPLE
03:08 – THE LAST OF US RABBITS
04:56 – FREE SPEECH IN THE UK
06:28 – SLEEP SWIMMING
08:30 – NORTH KOREAN SLAVES IN RUSSIA?
11:08 – ASSASSINS PLEAD
13:15 – RONALDO FINDS AN INFINITY STONE
16:31 – DONT FEED THE RABBITS!